10.1 Families as Allies
Regarding families as allies in the education of our students takes on many different facets. Teachers must consider information exchange and communication, culture of home life, parental misconceptions about school, subject matter, child performance and behavior, etc. Most parents will see their children through rose-colored glasses and may appear as unconditional advocates for student’s future. It is up to the teacher to set the tone as facilitator and moderator of a child’s single-most important influence, the parents, and harness that power in a successful direction. I believe that good teachers and good parents have a primary obligation to serve their students, and therefore teachers and parents have inherent expectations of one another’s roles and should respect one another’s boundaries.
Communicating with families refers to the sharing and exchange of information, and teachers have countless means at their disposal. Of course the old fashioned letter home is still utilized by some, but generally being replaced by the more immediate efficiency of e-mail. With the push of a button, we can fire off praises and concerns almost as sub-consciously as we take a drink of water. This action is often done carelessly and by its sub-conscious nature may be interpreted out of context on the receiving end. While e-mail is effective and timely, great care should be taken to ensure that a clear and thoughtful message is composed.
Despite the convenience of e-mail, I believe our society still appreciates and values the personal and considerate nature of the hand-written letter. In the interest of time, we often resort to form letters and haphazardly checked e-mails, but there’s something about the pensive nature of a pen-and-ink letter taken from the mailbox that sends a more personal and genuine message. I think this style of delivery is also more reflective. When you write a letter to send through the postal service, you often have time to reflect or reconsider what you have written or how you have written it. The opportunity to change thoughts or context or tone still exists after an hour or a good night’s sleep. Hasty e-mails lack the opportunity to address “I wish I would have said…” and often introduce the potential for unnecessary conflict.
One medium that still exists that is both immediate and personal is the telephone. A brief conversation can often get two people on the same page by interacting verbally, explaining circumstances or positions, and resolving some course of action or conclusion. I think if I were to use this medium, I would maybe find a way to designate a time for the call so both parties might prepare thoughts and state of mind, otherwise parent or teacher may bet caught off-guard by the other and find himself in an intimidating position.
Shared information is also becoming more accessible to families through the triangular relationship that exists in the adoption of electronic gradebooks by many schools. Here it is easy for both parents and students to monitor and discuss progress with one another or with the teacher. My mentoring high school has seen an enthusiastic interest from parents. By tracking parental use, they can demonstrate a marked increase in parental contact and involvement over previous years without electronic access.
Teachers can also maintain their own Websites that include syllabi and course expectations/requirements. This information is also valuable for parents in their quest to help direct their students’ education. A teacher who introduces this must make a firm commitment to keep this information current. In addition to course information and assignments, teachers should recommend resources for students and parents to guide them in addressing their roles in the student’s learning or seeking professional assistance such as tutoring or counseling.
Basic communication is taken to the next level when specific needs or concerns are being addressed. Parents and teachers come together in a unique fashion, often having differing perspectives about the student both personally and academically. In a parent’s letter to my mentor teacher, concerns about her daughter’s performance in Honors Geometry are addressed. I have also included an experience that the Garcias (regulars at PF Chang’s) were kind enough to describe regarding a recent challenge with their daughter’s teacher. It is interesting to compare and contrast the perspectives, tones, assumptions, and frustrations that both teachers and parents feel toward one another, the student and the educational process.
Although some parents are unreasonable by nature, even the most well-mannered and well-intended parents can become obstacles to student learning. TIME Magazine recently published an article about this often stormy relationship which is being addressed more openly by schools. My mentoring high school has taken steps to improve this relationship by forming a committee to address questions and revise policies about Parent/Family involvement in Lawrence Township Schools.
Full-scale collaborative efforts also exist and are described in Working with Parents and Families (unknown). The body of this article provides detailed examples of how traditional parents, single parents, siblings and other family members play well-defined roles in the student’s learning. The excerpt sets up how the remainder of the article addresses responsibilities of students, teachers and families describes some common barriers when collaborating with families. A respectful and well-planned approach is paramount when working with parents on this scale.
Schools offer other traditional forms of parent participation such as open houses and conferences. One of the math teachers at my mentoring school prepares How Can I Help handouts for parents who make appointments for Parent-Teacher Conferences, simply another way for teachers to reach out to parents and introduce or remind them about the resources available to them and the student.
It is important that teachers, armed with the most up-to-date methods and strategies take the initiative to reach out to families. Many parents are not involved simply because they do not know how to help their students. They are so far removed from school or have negative associations that deflate their confidence. Teachers must encourage parents to be parents and not try to be teachers or model students. Parents are most effective when the can provide an environment at home that is supportive, encouraging and conducive to learning by facilitating nutrition and sleep, designating quiet study times and places, providing accountability for assignments (completeness over correctness), and seeking assistance when classroom resources are not meeting the needs of the student.
